Friday, May 22, 2015

Parents Protect Your Children


Were the Duggar’s Being Hypocrites by Protecting Their Son’s Privacy?

Mom to Mom

I am going to step out on a limb here because I have been pretty heartbroken over the way a family has been treated regarding the temptations and heartbreaking choices a CHILD of theirs made.

As a mother of many children, I hope to share my personal, but very heartfelt convictions on what should and what should not ever be shared openly about your children on ANY public media. While dad’s certainly are in charge of this area in a child’s life, moms play a very important role, as well, and I only feel comfortable giving this advice to other moms.
Unfortunately, I will have to give a whole lot of background here before I get to my main points. I have seen a whole lot of media attention aimed at the Duggar family. For those of you who know what I am talking about, you will know that I will be discussing the issue of parenting when life hands you seriously nightmarish issues that you never thought could happen to you.
For those of you who don’t know what I am referring to, I am going to warn you ahead of time that this is very heartbreaking and somewhat explicit.
I am not a faithful fan of the show, “19 Kids and Counting” or the Duggar Family and many of their strict philosophies, even though you may think our family is an offshoot of their ideologies. When I have watched their show, it has however, given me a respect for their convictions, their gentleness and love for one another.   I have even seen an openness and willingness to show themselves as real people, flaws and all.

I said all of that just so you know that I am not a staunch fan, but rather, more of a distant and occasional onlooker. For those of you who don’t know, the eldest son, 27-year-old, Josh Dugger has recently been in the news for problems he had when he was 14-years-old. He was caught in sexual sin, he “inappropriately touched minors” and admitted them...

In a statement first provided to People magazine and then posted to Facebook, Josh admitted, "Twelve years ago, as a young teenager, I acted inexcusably for which I am extremely sorry and deeply regret. I hurt others, including my family and close friends. ... I sought forgiveness from those I had wronged." Josh, now 27 but 14 at the time of the first alleged incident, admitted he told his father of his actions.
"I confessed this to my parents who took several steps to help me address the situation. We spoke with the authorities where I confessed my wrongdoing, and my parents arranged for me and those affected by my actions to receive counseling. I understood that if I continued down this wrong road that I would end up ruining my life," he said.

The parents realized that their 14-year-old son was in sin and I agree, it would have been very upsetting to learn of this. They did get the boy, who was still a child himself, as well as the girls involved counseling. He admitted to his sin, was extremely upset and says he repented and asked for forgiveness.

Now, I cannot know his heart, I can only know what he says. I read about it and what I found was that the parents sent him to a “work camp” for discipline, and then took him to the police. The police decided that he was sorry, underage and to keep an eye on him. His parents then took him to the “elders” of their church and he repented in front of their congregation.

These are the words of the parents,
"Back 12 years ago our family went through one of the most difficult times of our lives," Jim Bob, 49, and Michelle, 48, said in a joint statement. "When Josh was a young teenager, he made some very bad mistakes, and we were shocked. We had tried to teach him right from wrong. That dark and difficult time caused us to seek God like never before."

Here is where I would like to stop and think as a mother. I see the media and sadly, even some Christians calling this family and this boy hypocrites. That really is heartbreaking to me.
This reminds me of the men who caught the woman in the “very act of adultery.” While they all stood around finding ways to condemn her, Jesus reminds them that they are also not without sin. Still, he tells her that although he will not condemn her, “Go, from now on sin no more.”
Does this sin from the past of a 14 year old boy haunt him for the rest of his life? Is this something we can say is a “log in his eye” so that he can never speak against sin again? (John 8:4-11)

From a mother’s point of view, I see an even more dangerous teaching lurking here! That is the idea that when a child is caught in a sin, no matter how disturbing, it is the responsibility of the parent and the right of the world to share this sin with all who might be curious to hear! I am getting very weary with this technological society that says that all my information is also your information. We live in a world of social media where we share what we ate, when we go to sleep, what our mood is, when we have a boyfriend/girlfriend, and that person may find out about a new love on social media before he/she finds out about a break-up!

Moms, I have seen a concerning trend of parenting and complaining about our children on-line. Our children have precious, delicate hearts. God trusted us with their sweet spirits. While there may be a time to reach out because your child has gotten to the point of being wayward, social media is NOT the place to share your grievances about your children. 

Our children should be able to trust us above anyone else in this world. If they are struggling with a secret sin, then they should be able to come to us for counsel, forgiveness, strength and love. This is the truest picture of Christ and His love for us. If they know that we are the kind of parents who would share this with social media, I guarantee you, you are GOING to lose their trust. Consider these scriptures. While some of these speak to fathers, we moms are to be our husbands helpmeets in every area, and of course, raising our children is one of the most important areas that we are involved in. Our children love us and depend on us. Think about your own children as you read these.

Titus 2:3-4, “Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children…”

                          Eph 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your                       
                              children to anger, but bring them up in
                           the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

                         Col 3:21, “Fathers, do not exasperate your
                              children, so that they will not lose heart.”

                         Psalm 103:13, “Just as a father has compassion
                              on his children,
 So the Lord has compassion 
                           on those who fear Him.”


I applaud the majority of parents who protect and value the privacy of their child. I am so thankful for the majority of mothers out there who are raising up godly children and doing this while strengthening their own relationships with them. That goes for dads, too. I believe this is because as a church, we have been loved and forgiven within our own church families. Most Christians know that Christ forgave us and this love and forgiveness is re-lived regularly among brothers and sisters of God's people! 

However, this recent occurrence caused me to remember a trend that I have been noticing that has been alarming. I am certain that this is done out of ignorance and I am certain moms would never willingly hurt their children. Because of this, I am reaching out to share how very damaging and detrimental this practice will be to your relationship with your child and even worse, their trust in God. Please consider the hearts of your children when you take your grievances with them to the web in any form. Be the source of strength, love and trust your children need.

If adults sin and can find forgiveness, then certainly we need to extend that grace and forgiveness to our children and not mar their reputations before they are capable of standing strong on their own without the help of their parents. 

I am so thankful for the Bride of Christ! I have been the recipient of love and forgiveness in my past and I am so grateful that all my sins have not been plastered all over the internet! I am thankful that I have sisters in Christ and my immediate family who I can share my sins that I struggle with and need to confess and ask their prayers for while trusting they would never speak a word of them to anyone else. I imagine most of you feel the same way? 

Be this for your children, too. 
Your children are depending on you! 
God chose you to be their protectors for this short time of their lives. 
Live up to that Moms!! 

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Can You Hear That?!

Can you hear that?!!!                                                    

What is that sound?

That is the loudest thing I have ever heard!!

It is all over facebook and every major news network is trying to figure it out!

The sound is so loud that it is deafening!!

It sounds so beautiful!! Don’t you think so???

Some are saying it is a frightening sound.

People are going crazy!

Running out of their homes to try to figure out what it could be!!

Every country, the same thing! Hurry, run outside!!

Trumpets, louder, and clearer…like crystal…no…like THUNDER!!!

My heart is filled with JOY!!

Some are laying on the ground hiding their faces in terror.

Could it really be? Could HE be here??!!

If He were, would you be excited?
Would you be scared?
Would you be running to your window to see?
Or would you want to run and hide?

Of course, you would just KNOW deep down inside yourself that it would be too late.
I would not have time to sit at my computer.
I would not have time to warn you; to explain.
I could not explain to you Who, “He” is.
I would be on my way to be with my Lord.
Would you?
Do you know of these trumpets I speak of?

1 Thessalonians 4:16-18:
16 For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.”
*(emphasis mine)

It is important to note that these verses in context are a letter written to followers of Christ. Notice the dead “in Christ”. There is a common thread throughout scripture that clearly teaches how to be “in Christ”.

Matthew 24:36-39:
 36 But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only. 37 For as were the days of Noah, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. 38 For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day when Noah entered the ark, 39 and they were unaware until the flood came and swept them all away, so will be the coming of the Son of Man.”

Clearly, this day will be a surprise.

This question was shared with us during a devotional last night:
“If you knew that Jesus was going to come within the next 24 hours, what would you do differently? Would you call your loved ones? Would you tell as many as you could about Christ? 
Would you spend hours in prayer?”

Perhaps you don’t even know Jesus.
Maybe you don’t know what you need to do to be “in Christ”?

If you have taken the word of someone else that you have done the right thing or taken the right steps to “be a Christian”, maybe it is time for you to be sure that you have asked the Lord if you have.
I remember once, long ago coming across these verses:

Matthew 7:21-23:
“21 Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

*There will be many very GOOD people who really believed that they had done many good things FOR the Lord who Jesus will say that He never knew!

It is out of my love for those people that I write this!
If you have read this very long letter to you so far, please know that I love you all!
Also please know that if you have any questions about what the Bible has to say about salvation and how to be sure you are “in Christ”, then I would LOVE to study with you!! Jesus really did make it easy.

I hear often that there are many paths to heaven.
RIGHT ABOVE THE VERSES WHERE JESUS SAYS, “I WILL DECLARE TO THEM, I NEVER KNEW YOU…”…WITHIN HIS VERY SAME SERMON, HE SAYS,
Matt 7:13-14:
“13 “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. 14 For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”

Jesus said that; not Laura.

I love you!!
I pray that when the trumpet sounds, we all go meet Him together!!