Searching For Mr. Darcy

            I recently saw a facebook game that young

girls are playing called, “Jane Austen Unbound,”

where Miss Bennett and Mr. Darcy “have escaped from Pride and Prejudice, and they’re conspiring with the heroes of Jane’s other great novels! But to what end? That’s for you to discover as you solve hidden object puzzles, challenge your friends, and build your own home in the world of Jane Austen.” The young girl who I spoke to understood that everyone was on a mission to marry Mr. Darcy.

As a mom, I would rather that my daughter daydreams about marrying a man like Mr. Darcy, than obsessing about the popular teen idols of the day. And while this is a sweet, seemingly harmless game, how often do we as moms share with our daughters the traits and values that they should be praying about in a husband? How often do we tell them that we are grateful for the godly husbands that the Lord has provided us with, if we have been so blessed?

            I will be the first to admit that I am a Jane Austen fan. I think that enjoying some sweet, pure and moral reading and movies is a wonderful way to spend time together with my daughters. I also believe that Miss Austen taught a whole lot of wonderful valuable lessons. However, I think that just like fairytales, young girls can raise the bar and compare future men who are interested in them as wives or even their own husbands to their ideal of “Mr. Darcy” just as if he were Prince Charming. So it is our job, moms, to teach our daughters reality –vs.- fantasy; because, none of us happen to be Miss. Bennett or a Princess, either.

            In every day life, the Mr. that I pray my daughters marry will need to be a man devoted to God. He would need to love Him more than he loves himself. He would need to love Him more than he loves my daughter. He would need to love Him more than he loves anyone else. Because if he doesn’t; then everything else will not fall into place.

In everyday life, the Mr. that I pray my daughters marry will love her more than any other person on earth and will always be faithful to her in mind and body. He will only have eyes for her and will gently, but firmly lead her to always be a stronger Christian and student of God’s Word.

            In everyday life, the Mr. that I pray my daughters marry will be trustworthy and a man who trusts the Lord. He will teach His family to have faith when times get hard, because there will be those times. He will be a prayerful man and will always lead his family in prayer during those difficult times.

           

            In everyday life, the Mr. that I pray my daughters marry will be a man who will raise his family to serve the Lord.  He will be a Daddy who is a tenderhearted father while being a consistent disciplinarian and will teach their children all about His God.

           

            In everyday life, the Mr. that I pray my daughters marry will be a man who is a servant because Christ was a servant. He will be a man who will help his wife when she is sick or sad or just tired. He will serve the church and those who need help.

            And Yes, In everyday life, the Mr. that I pray my daughters marry will be a romantic man who makes her smile and laugh and giddy inside. But I want her to remember that everyday he will not be this person. He is human and he will still love you even on those days that he is not all these things. He is still your loving husband who God gave you and tomorrow or the next day, when maybe you are not so tired, he will make you laugh and giddy and just remember what this mom is telling you…

            In everyday life, I also pray that my daughters strive to be all of these things for her God and for her husband. Real life is about love and commitment and honor and serving each other; because God gave you the gift of marriage and that is true love! Romance is not the goal, real romance is something you work at together. It is not something you deserve. It is something you nurture in one another.

I would not trade my “Mr. Warnes” in for a “Mr. Darcy” for all the riches in the world. He is all of the things that I described and more! Remember to remind your daughters of this.

With Much Love,
Mrs. Warnes

Hospitality is required

Is hospitality something that God requires of the Christian, or is it simply something nice to do for those you love or those that you enjoy entertaining? Is it an activity performed by only those who are gifted to cook great meals and able to afford luxuries such as expensive food and decorations? Not only is the service of hospitality mentioned in scripture often, it is given as a command.  First, hospitality was commanded to the Hebrews in the Old Testament.  Second, hospitality is commanded to Christians in the New Testament.  And third, hospitality is commanded in the New Testament as a requirement for Elders and their wives, as well as for widows “indeed.”

First, hospitality is commanded and taught in the Old Testament. God reminds His people of their personal discomfort while being travelers and strangers in strange lands.  They knew what it was like to be at the mercy of others, and likewise, He expected His people to show mercy to others. Exodus 23:9 says, “You shall not oppress a stranger, since you yourselves know the feelings of a stranger, for you also were strangers in the land of Egypt.   This is also seen in Leviticus 19:33-34: “When a stranger resides with you in your land, you shall not do him wrong.  The stranger who resides with you shall be to you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt; I am the Lord your God.”

God also used this idea of being strangers to remind the Israelites of the needs of others who had no home or means of food; including widows and orphans.  In Leviticus 19:9-10 God commands them to remember those in need:  “Now when you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not reap to the very corners of your field, nor shall you gather the gleanings of your harvest. Nor shall you glean your vineyard, nor shall you gather the fallen fruit of your vineyard; you shall leave them for the needy and for the stranger. I am the Lord your God.”  Another example is found in Deuteronomy 10:18-19 “He executes justice for the orphan and the widow, and shows His love for the alien by giving him food and clothing. So show your love for the alien, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt.”  In Deuteronomy 26:12 God requires, “When you have finished paying all the tithe of your increase in the third year, the year of tithing, then you shall give it to the Levite, to the stranger, to the orphan and to the widow, that they may eat in your towns and be satisfied.”

Second, hospitality is commanded and taught in the New Testament.  As with many other commandments in the OT that Jesus expects His followers to obey in even more meaningful ways for His kingdom, hospitality is both encouraged and commanded even more strongly in the NT than previously taught. Jesus teaches that just claiming Christ as Lord is not enough. He teaches that in order to truly be a follower of Christ and to be accepted by Him, we must show our love towards His children outwardly.  In Matthew 25:34-46, Jesus very clearly says that unless we feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, take in the stranger, cloth the poor, visit the sick of heart and spirit, etc, we will not inherit eternal life.

Jesus emphasizes exactly who is in need of true hospitality in Luke 14:12-14, “And He also went on to say to the one who had invited Him, ‘When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, otherwise they may also invite you in return and that will be your repayment. But when you give a reception, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, since they do not have the means to repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.’”

Not only did Jesus command this, but God chose to include many more examples in the NT of hospitality. In Romans we are told to be devoted to one another in brotherly love and in chapter 12:13 it concludes these commandments with, “contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.”  Hebrews 13:2 says, “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.”  Also, 1 Peter 4:9says, “Be hospitable to one another without complaint.” The Apostle John encourages hospitality in 3 John 5, “Beloved, you are acting faithfully in whatever you accomplish for the brethren, and especially when they are strangers;”

Third, hospitality is commanded as a requirement for certain positions or rewards.  Paul clearly teaches that without being hospitable, a man is not qualified to be an elder.  First Timothy 3:2 states,  “An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife… hospitable.” Likewise, a woman who loses her husband through death cannot be “put on the list” to be served and taken care of by the church if she did not practice hospitality in her lifetime.  1 Timothy 2:9-10 explains, “A widow is to be put on the list only if she is not less than sixty years old…if she has shown hospitality to strangers.”

We clearly see that enjoying the company of those that you enjoy being around is not the only way to show hospitality.  Furthermore, the Israelites of the OT were required to show hospitality.  NT Christians are commanded by Jesus and His Word to practice hospitality if we want our Father in heaven to accept us on our Day of Judgment.  Hospitality is even a requirement for one to be an elder, for wives of elders and for widows to be taken care of by the church! Our Lord takes hospitality very seriously and every follower of Christ must practice showing their love for others and for Him by obeying this commandment.

By Laura Warnes
Laura Warnes and her husband Jon serve with the Miller Street church of Christ in Arvada, CO. Jon is the Director of Alumni Relations for the Bear Valley Bible Institute of Denver. Laura is a homeschooling mom to their seven children still at home, (two have flown the coup) and is also a proud grandma to two beautiful granddaughters and a handsome grandson.